Conjuring up an image of this aspect
Even after all the times I've been asked to 'just let me pick your brain', this one was particularly, umm, bold (I'm thinking of another b-word, but I'll keep it clean!). She was willing to pay for a coach's services, but wanted to just "pick my brain".so it is probably.
This comes up quite often for my clients too, especially those who offer 'soft' services like coaching. Services that don't always include something tangible.
That doesn't make the service any less valuable.Where family is key
Your brain, and all the expertise and experience in it, is not something to "pick". All that you offer is valuable, and you deserve to be compensated in exchange for sharing it.
In my exchange with Melinda, I was so dumbfounded at the irony of the situation that I just responded vaguely, something like, well, we'll see. Not exactly the take-charge, clear, and boundaried power response I was hoping for. Powerful Me had taken a little vacation, or was checking her iPhone. My self-image took a little hit.but
That experience taught me something very important about interactions with people who want to 'just pick your brain'.
Be prepared.
There was no need to run myself down about what had happened. I just needed to prepare for the next time.competitive marketplace
So I got busy working on this issue. First, I called on Powerful Me to help. I've found it useful to give her a name: Madeleine. Conjuring up an image of this aspect of myself has been really helpful, and I recommend it. In my case, Madeleine is blonde and tall, and looks prosperous and confident. One of the things I admire about her is that she has the nerve to wear big jewelry.
This tool isn't about splitting off parts of yourself. It's my version of a well-known psychology technique, where you can consciously call on parts of yourself that you need, right then. It's a helpful bridge, until the rest of you catches upI love my friends.
With Madeleine on the scene, I could move on to my goals: Really get clear on what I wanted to communicate. Set boundaries. Be gracious.
